From the first day i came to this church, I knew deep down that there was
something special about it and i was excited to actually look forward to
another Sunday. But then, I did not actually meet the Sunday service (I was
late as usual) I met a meeting... more like a family gathering. I remember
feeling very eager to leave yet patient enough to sit through the whole meeting
with the hope that the sermon would begin soon. I asked a lady who sat by me
when it would happen but she said the preaching was already over! Imagine my
amazement.
I wasn't happy at all. I had actually gone to bed the previous night with
the hope that I’ll wake up and go to church and early too. (My family thinks I am
not close enough to God because I hardly go to church) But last night, I went
to bed, woke up in the middle of the night to pee, went back to bed and was
awoken by a roach under my sheets! Worst, the cooling system and fan both
tripped off as the circuit was short... I live in sub-Sahara Africa and this
kind of thing as weird as it sounds is common. In that heat madness I couldn't go
back to sleep. I counted sheep and ceiling sheets till morning. I managed to drift off
to sleep in the morning… not a good idea since I had to be in church latest
09:00.(that didn't happen. I really tried to stay awake but the body is weak) I
woke up at about 09:20 on Sunday morning and forced myself to be in church no
matter how late I was.
I have been looking for a church that is ready to meet the needs of her congregation.
The man with the Microphone ( I later found out to be the assistant Pastor)
said "Our God is very big to meet our needs”. Yes he truly is. But why is the
church passing everything to God to do when he has given us the ability as a
church to help one another emotionally, physically and spiritually?
I think it is time the church as a body takes back the big brother role of
what true Christianity is all about. To literally be the moral and ethical compass
that governs the ideas and mannerisms of this world and generation. The church
cannot fail in this regard because it is supposed to be the body of Christ! (I’ll
explain)
The church should collectively begin to raise their voices loudest against
moral, social, political, spiritual and physical decadence in the church before
the wrath of God descends on them. ( Like in the book of Revelations!! Charity they
say begins at home.
I am not a crusader I don’t think I have mustered enough bolls to fight the
church but I think it is time that we literally take the word of God and the prophecies
through the prophets seriously.
How come the church is failing in its responsibility to breed a generation
that fears God? Why are people followers only and not doers? How come people
who should be morally sound are those who fail woefully in the act of being
shinning lights and anchors.
The rate of hate crimes, war, divorce strife… (It goes on and on) around you
and me is seriously on the increase. These are times that the church as a
unified body should come together to raise a people who will teach the next man
or woman the act of LOVE! and not be associated with negativity.
The greatest teacher that ever lived once said that no matter how nice you
are or righteous if you do not have Love you have failed in the others as LOVE
is the greatest commandment of all.
This is the time now to start teaching our future generations how to love
and show kindness. We are not to wait any longer for them to attain teenage
years or fall into the youth category… if we are to win this fight against hate
we would need to start teaching our kids (without suffocating them in the
process) how to show kindness and Love. For when he/she grows it will not
depart from him/her.
We have to begin to teach our children it's not OK to hit someone
violently.
It is not OK to be rude and disrespectful. It is not OK to cheat on your
partner. Iit is not OK to be mean , or deceitful . It is not OK
to take something that doesn't belong to them. We as adults owe it to
them to mould
them in a way that will make them successful in life. We owe it to them
to
structure them on selflessness and kindness.
We can never go wrong if we taught ourselves how to genuinely show love.
The concept of Love is so bastardized that it’s actual meaning of now
devoid of its original concept.
As simple as it is yet, it is so complex that we humans would rather do
without
its actual meaning. Love God above all and Love your neighbor as you
love
yourself. It has never been more than this. How did we mistake love for
fondness, affection or lust?
I really haven’t met anyone who wishes themselves bad or evil. So why
would
you wish the next person evil or bad? Would you cheat on yourself? So
why mess with someone’s home or relationship even though you know they
are happy? Why and how would
someone with a wife/husband and children suddenly be in love with
someone else?
Why will someone else be in love with a
married man/woman without considering the pain and hurt he/she is causing the partner?
Why not channel that love to your husband/wife and kids? Why would I always be
mean to someone else if I can’t be mean to myself? Why will I see my own child (or
any kid for that matter) and be sexually aroused? Why will I beat my partner or my
children? Why would I take something I know isn't mine? Why will I go to a
place filled with people and blow myself up? Why will I take someone else’s
life? Why would i do all these and more if I had love or understood it or received Love.
The list goes on and on and it is an ever evolving thing that has eaten into
the fabric of our morarilty and attitude toward the next person. It is no
longer a matter of I just don’t care. Not caring is bringing us to the end of
our moral civilization. Should this continue, our future is forever tainted. As
the breed of people who will be left will alienate norm, custom and tradition
we hold sacred.
The family institution has inarguably been the foundation of every
generation. To what purpose are we having children we are not ready to teach,
mould and structure? We don’t have to choke them doing so. As we have seen
choking a child (not literally but by making them become stultified, suppressed,
stifled or suppress their development,
creativity, or imagination) backfires on us as the child grows up filled with
hate and resentments with devastating consequences. The very thing you tried to
stop.
Love. Love.Love. you can’t do this, give this, receive this or show this if
you do not have it for yourself. It all starts with you and me.
You don’t need therapy to tell you to show, give and receive Love. Let it be
your daily guide. In all that you do, think and say, you should always think of
the consequences of your actions.
The Rotary club has a saying.
1. Is it the Truth?
2. Is it Fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build Good will and Better Friendship?
4. Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
I think we should all think about these 4 ways test a little.
Love shouldn't be difficult. It is the most natural and the simplest thing
to do. We should begin to teach our children that as with sowing seeds, paying
tithes, giving offerings, there are also rewards for showing and giving Love.
The benefits of showing love cannot be over emphasized. For us to stop
hearing wars on the News, on murder or suicide, on breakup or divorce, one
child molested or rapist, one robber or suicide bomber…… we have to begin to
show ourselves love. We have survived in this civilization for a reason. Maybe we
really are the breed of people who have been entrusted to take this earth to
the next level.
I am tired of the violence I see on TV or listen to on the News. I am tired
of the negative reports. I am tired of people gloating over other people’s
misfortune. I am tired of people's inability to just give love, show love and
open their hearts to receive love.
We have tried hating, gloating, suicide bombers, rapist, thieves, pedophiles,
murderers, viciousness, anger, maliciousness, and bullies, name it! it is still
not working! Never has and never will. This dispensation can only survive on
people who have to ability to Love.
The greatest Rabbi did not call it the greatest commandment for no reason.
Friday, 13 September 2013
What in God's name is happening to marriages now?
I haven't until now laughed so hard as much as when I read comments
from blog visitors. Their diverse nature leaves no one spared
from the truth no matter how bitter and hurtful it may seem..... No
one ever said the truth doesn't hurt.
I like that truthfulness in some blogs and that is why I have come to
present a problem for me.
Recently, I found out that the marriage of my best friend of 24years
is heading for divorce. Why are my pained? Why does this bother me?
Well, aside from knowing her for these many years and being a god
parent to their kids I am an ever present face in their household as I
help her out with the kids from time to time. I am married but have no
kids of my own yet so please understand the emotional attachment to
her kids.
Mia has for the past 12 years tried to tell her and hubby's
family that her hubby Micheal has a drinking problem but so far no one
has bothered to take her seriously. He started with regular beer and
now in recent times, he is heavily into Red label! Morning, afternoon,
night, work place, family/social gathering, vacation, ill health,
before sleeping, first thing in the morning, last thing before he
sleeps. He is always drinking! So bad that the level of productivity
in his office is beginning to suffer and dwindle as his constant and
daily slurred speeches are now considered professionally incoherent.
Still, his family has refused to intervene!
All these many years Mia has managed with the kids so far. Being a
good mum, goes for their school meetings, parties, taekwondo lessons,
soccer practice, outdoor sporting, as well as run a business and a
Blood Pressure so high it scares me even though I am hypertensive.
Micheal when sober tries to be a good dad. These good deeds he does by
making up for his previous f*ck ups. What do the kids care… to them,
dad is alright and at home for a change yet silently wishing that he
would go away again because the house is most peaceful when he's not
around.
Mia now wants out of the marriage as she feels the emotional
challenges she has been facing for these many years have become too
unbearable for her. Staying up into the early hours of the morning
waiting for her husband who she knows is in a bar somewhere
drinking away the small money they barely have, calling friends and
family late in the night to tell them he is not home yet( he gets off
work by 5pm and doesn't come back to 2 -3am in the morning.) see her
hubby pass out in front of visitors ( he literally will slump to the
ground), having very embarrassing slurred speeches when he is supposed
to be having a very important discussion or conversation with friends,
family or at a business setting, accusing the wife of infidelity as
often as he remembers to (which is quite very often).
Friend, I could go on and on but I have seen too much not to back my
friend on this one decision she intends to take. People might accuse
me of wanting to or aiding to break my friend's home or say every home
has their own issues, I should mind my business.... blah blah blah.
My question is at what point is such a behavior from a man whom she
has loved for over a decade of her life acceptable? At what point is
attempting to hit her in front of the kids ok? But then, what I’ll say
to these folks is simple... if only they can peep into my world to see
a glimpse of what I have seen and experienced.. things I have heard…
witnessed.... the nights we stayed up to wait,or listen to her cry,
watching your friend's husband behave dead for 15-20 and sometimes
over 30mins while we stand with a spoon hoping he doesn't clench his
teeth, watching the kids cry not knowing if their dad will wake up,
seeing your friend with the kindest heart and the most cheerful laugh
I ever heard and a smile that can melt anyone's heart fade away right
before you and looking older than her normal self….
I am very angry! I honestly feel like slapping the shit out of her
husband’s freaking fucking face. What hasn't this girl done for this
fucking arse? What mountain would she not climb for him? I thought
Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing. How come two people who once
loved themselves now can’t stand each other in the same room?
My friend isn't mother Theresa or Mary the mother of Jesus. She is a
young woman like you and me who wanted nothing else the world had to
offer except what Micheal was offering her. She has like every woman must
have done….once had a life. She had boyfriends, dated older guys,
younger men, went to parties, loved life….. She really enjoyed her
youth but that way of life she gave up when she met Micheal. He too was
once a young man and enjoyed the excesses of every young man in his
youthful days and age. But to accuse Mia of infidelity and worst of
all as often as he does is as painful to me as it is for her.
Why do I ask for your readers advice? Simple Linda! I pray that
someone out there who may have passed through these types of emotional
meltdown will stumble upon this and tell me how she did it. HOW? for
crying out loud… HOW! If she is still married to her husband, why did
she stay? (Even though he suddenly thinks the four children who are
all spitting images of him aren't his) If she left what was the
breaking point for her? And to the men, what do you tell a woman who
is going through this hoping you aren't drunk (No offense please,
please. please.)
With his sudden outburst of rage, I am afraid that one day I will get
the call I have subconsciously dreaded as we now suspect that maybe
there is another woman and his sudden change in character (from bouts
and fits of anger to attempted hitting and threats of smashing her face) cannot be justified any other
way. What else can we think? what else is there to think? He has never
acted violently towards her until recently. He has refused to listen
to family or friends who actually care about their happiness and for
some reason, all he keeps keeps saying “this marriage is over”! None
of them is from a broken home.
How do I help my friend without seeming too intrusive yet desperate to
help? How do I continue to tell her everything will be alright when I
don't know half of what she is really thinking or what her marriage is really
like or going through… at least I am not wearing her shoes right? God please help me after this!
She is 42 and her Micheal is 49.
What do you think she should do?
from blog visitors. Their diverse nature leaves no one spared
from the truth no matter how bitter and hurtful it may seem..... No
one ever said the truth doesn't hurt.
I like that truthfulness in some blogs and that is why I have come to
present a problem for me.
Recently, I found out that the marriage of my best friend of 24years
is heading for divorce. Why are my pained? Why does this bother me?
Well, aside from knowing her for these many years and being a god
parent to their kids I am an ever present face in their household as I
help her out with the kids from time to time. I am married but have no
kids of my own yet so please understand the emotional attachment to
her kids.
Mia has for the past 12 years tried to tell her and hubby's
family that her hubby Micheal has a drinking problem but so far no one
has bothered to take her seriously. He started with regular beer and
now in recent times, he is heavily into Red label! Morning, afternoon,
night, work place, family/social gathering, vacation, ill health,
before sleeping, first thing in the morning, last thing before he
sleeps. He is always drinking! So bad that the level of productivity
in his office is beginning to suffer and dwindle as his constant and
daily slurred speeches are now considered professionally incoherent.
Still, his family has refused to intervene!
All these many years Mia has managed with the kids so far. Being a
good mum, goes for their school meetings, parties, taekwondo lessons,
soccer practice, outdoor sporting, as well as run a business and a
Blood Pressure so high it scares me even though I am hypertensive.
Micheal when sober tries to be a good dad. These good deeds he does by
making up for his previous f*ck ups. What do the kids care… to them,
dad is alright and at home for a change yet silently wishing that he
would go away again because the house is most peaceful when he's not
around.
Mia now wants out of the marriage as she feels the emotional
challenges she has been facing for these many years have become too
unbearable for her. Staying up into the early hours of the morning
waiting for her husband who she knows is in a bar somewhere
drinking away the small money they barely have, calling friends and
family late in the night to tell them he is not home yet( he gets off
work by 5pm and doesn't come back to 2 -3am in the morning.) see her
hubby pass out in front of visitors ( he literally will slump to the
ground), having very embarrassing slurred speeches when he is supposed
to be having a very important discussion or conversation with friends,
family or at a business setting, accusing the wife of infidelity as
often as he remembers to (which is quite very often).
Friend, I could go on and on but I have seen too much not to back my
friend on this one decision she intends to take. People might accuse
me of wanting to or aiding to break my friend's home or say every home
has their own issues, I should mind my business.... blah blah blah.
My question is at what point is such a behavior from a man whom she
has loved for over a decade of her life acceptable? At what point is
attempting to hit her in front of the kids ok? But then, what I’ll say
to these folks is simple... if only they can peep into my world to see
a glimpse of what I have seen and experienced.. things I have heard…
witnessed.... the nights we stayed up to wait,or listen to her cry,
watching your friend's husband behave dead for 15-20 and sometimes
over 30mins while we stand with a spoon hoping he doesn't clench his
teeth, watching the kids cry not knowing if their dad will wake up,
seeing your friend with the kindest heart and the most cheerful laugh
I ever heard and a smile that can melt anyone's heart fade away right
before you and looking older than her normal self….
I am very angry! I honestly feel like slapping the shit out of her
husband’s freaking fucking face. What hasn't this girl done for this
fucking arse? What mountain would she not climb for him? I thought
Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing. How come two people who once
loved themselves now can’t stand each other in the same room?
My friend isn't mother Theresa or Mary the mother of Jesus. She is a
young woman like you and me who wanted nothing else the world had to
offer except what Micheal was offering her. She has like every woman must
have done….once had a life. She had boyfriends, dated older guys,
younger men, went to parties, loved life….. She really enjoyed her
youth but that way of life she gave up when she met Micheal. He too was
once a young man and enjoyed the excesses of every young man in his
youthful days and age. But to accuse Mia of infidelity and worst of
all as often as he does is as painful to me as it is for her.
Why do I ask for your readers advice? Simple Linda! I pray that
someone out there who may have passed through these types of emotional
meltdown will stumble upon this and tell me how she did it. HOW? for
crying out loud… HOW! If she is still married to her husband, why did
she stay? (Even though he suddenly thinks the four children who are
all spitting images of him aren't his) If she left what was the
breaking point for her? And to the men, what do you tell a woman who
is going through this hoping you aren't drunk (No offense please,
please. please.)
With his sudden outburst of rage, I am afraid that one day I will get
the call I have subconsciously dreaded as we now suspect that maybe
there is another woman and his sudden change in character (from bouts
and fits of anger to attempted hitting and threats of smashing her face) cannot be justified any other
way. What else can we think? what else is there to think? He has never
acted violently towards her until recently. He has refused to listen
to family or friends who actually care about their happiness and for
some reason, all he keeps keeps saying “this marriage is over”! None
of them is from a broken home.
How do I help my friend without seeming too intrusive yet desperate to
help? How do I continue to tell her everything will be alright when I
don't know half of what she is really thinking or what her marriage is really
like or going through… at least I am not wearing her shoes right? God please help me after this!
She is 42 and her Micheal is 49.
What do you think she should do?
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